Happiness, they say is actually in our own hands but I don’t know how many people believe that their happiness is in their hands. It took me so long to realize that, I can choose to smile through the storm and I can choose to be gloomy.
My mum passed-on 5 years ago, I was so attached to her and it was tough to understand why she will go when I feel like it’s time for her to stay and enjoy the fruits of her labor. She was very prayerful, she loves to sing, she is just who an ideal mum is. She does not bother you for anything, prays for you, and guess what??? The aspect I love most, she wakes you up at the early hours of the day to talk to you because she believes that is when everywhere is quiet and you have to listen so if you don’t want to be woken up at 2 am or 4 am, to have a heart to heart conversation with my mum, you do the right thing.
She was unique. Mum forgives easily, always smiling and when death took her away from us, I was really sad. I questioned this for so long, I was unhappy. I wished and prayed I see her in my dreams. I wished she will just come to spend a little time with us. My heart was just heavy, you could see it all over me. I refused to change my hairdo, refused to wear earrings, it was just a really sad period. I looked at other people with their mums and I am like, why is mine gone?
I was working with Dangote Flour Mills then, I had this younger friend that worked under me, he came to me one day and said Sister Agnes (although I preferred to be called Nnenna), he said “you have been so sad since mum passed”, he continued, “why are you so sad ?”. I told him, I don’t know why she should go now because I still need to take care of her. And he said, “ I lost my parents when I was still a child and I have come to live with it. I have been a father to my younger ones, struggling, trying to make ends meet, this greatly impacted my education”. I was like wow! Emmanuel said then said, “Sis Agnes you need to stay strong ‘cos we are Christians and mum is with the Lord. She is resting, smiling and she wants you to carry on with your life. He said I should be thankful that God gave me more years to spend with my mum. No one said it will be easy anytime to lose one’s mum but we’ve got to try and carry-on. I think you should thank God for one thing that you spent more time with your mum. That day I went home, cried, and decided to be thankful to God that I spent at least a good time with her.
So back to the topic at hand, that day I decided to try to smile. For six months after I lost my mum, it seemed my world was snatched away, it felt like I stopped living and was just existing. Yea that’s the right word. Since that day, I choose to cautiously be happy. It has been five years, trust me I still cry every year. I can’t still manage not to cry, but am happy she is with God, am happy she lived a good life. I’m happy she impacted me so much with great confidence. She taught me to be hardworking, am grateful to God that I had that time to spend with her and she was able to take good care of us.
Happiness is a choice. I could have chosen to continue in my mourning but I choose to consider what my friend said. I made up my mind that though I miss her every day I will be happy. I tried smiling. My mum blesses us every first of the year, on our birthdays, special occasions, whenever you visit her, she prays and blesses us. “It is well with you my daughter. I miss that aspect so much so sometimes during my birthday, I search cautiously for one of my close friend’s mum to bless me and that has worked.
Today my mum is not with us but I still choose to be a happy person. I’m not happy because she has passed, am not happy because I miss her, am happy because I can’t give happiness to anyone except am happy. I have siblings, loved ones, nieces, and nephews. The last thing they want is a sad Aunt. I have great friends, so I decided to spend that energy on being sad to impact another person’s life positively.
I challenge you today to please choose to be happy, choose happiness in any situation no matter how tough it is. Sometimes it’s extremely tough trust me. But just choose happiness, it does not mean everything around you is perfect but it helps you live each day, it helps you go through each day.
Let us today choose Happiness, choose to be grateful for those things we have.