Forgiveness, who benefits? The offender or the one that was offended?, Who Benefits? The Offender Or The One That Was Offended?
Forgiveness, who benefits? Good morning our dear and devoted readers. It’s my pleasure to write on the topic of forgiveness. One of the reasons why I decided to write on forgiveness today is because it’s the Lenten season for Catholics and also unforgiveness hinders a lot of things. From my experience, I thought I share some insight based on my knowledge on the topic of unforgiveness.
Every day we carry out our daily activities and in carrying out our daily activities we have to interact with people. Interacting with people sometimes could help facilitate our daily activities and sometimes it could slow it down. Especially when people don’t intend to give you the necessary support. This can be frustrating. Another instance is when families, friends, and people we come in contact with every day either intentionally or unintentionally do things that hurt our feelings, this could disturb our day.
Sometimes we realize that the person that has done something we don’t like may not even have an idea that they have hurt our feelings, it might be an innocent mistake. So, how should you handle such? For me, when I notice that the person did what they did unintentionally, it was just an innocent mistake, I tend to talk to myself and if it’s necessary let the person know that “oh, this is what you did and I am not happy about it, I’m telling you not because I’m holding it against you but I will just want you to work on it so it doesn’t happen again”. In such an instance, you will see the friend or family or loved one being so apologetic. The response could be, “Oh, I didn’t see it from that angle”, you see, but if you didn’t share it and you keep it all bottled up, you will be unhappy and your loved one or friend will start wondering what they have done wrong and what is wrong with you and sometimes they may even say “oh, she is always angry”. So, expressing one’s feelings in a good manner helps in resolving issues.
Now, for those that have offended us even if it is intended, some will say am sorry and some others will be like, yes, I did it and I did it and I don’t care how you feel. It’s a two-way thing.
For those that tell you they are sorry, please, find it in your heart to forgive even though forgiveness sometimes is tough. For those that didn’t say sorry, it’s tough but in that case, I will advise you to look up to God and ask God to give you the strength to forgive.
Now back to the topic at hand, ‘Forgiveness, who benefits? ‘
You see, based on personal experience, the Bible says ” hold no man nothing more than good”. For me, am not at peace with myself when I am harboring unforgiveness towards someone, so my definition of unforgiveness based on this means that I am keeping myself captive for another person’s wrong and guess what, in most cases, while you are awake thinking about what the other party has done, the other party is sleeping peacefully and sometimes they are having fun and you are just angry. So for me, unforgiveness is punishing yourself for another person’s wrong actions.
It’s tough to forgive but who benefits from forgiveness? I will say the one that has been offended. I say the one that has been offended first benefits from forgiveness because when you forgive, you feel the heavy burden being lifted, you have this calmness, this peace within you. They say unforgiveness prevents our prayers from being answered. Forgiveness helps us to pray fully to God just like in ‘Our Lord’s prayer’ that says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. You have fulfilled your part and you are asking God to please forgive you as well. In that way, the person that has been wronged receives a lot of blessing from Him.
Secondly, the one that has offended someone also benefits, take for instance someone that is at the point of death and knows that he has done something wrong against a fellow brother and he is trying to make peace he just wants to hear the word ” You’ve been forgiven”. If luckily the person approaches, the sick one apologizes and the one who was offended says oh, I forgave you 10years ago and I gave you my peace. Trust me that man will pass unto the other world at peace after hearing that word “I forgive you” than not being able to receive forgiveness.
My conclusion is that they both benefit from it but the person that has been offended benefits more from it because when you don’t let go of wrongs done to you it’s like a heavy burden. But is it easy to let go? No! How do we let go? Ask God for grace, only Him can help you to truly let go.
Blessed week dearest readers.
Please feel free to contribute and share your opinion on this. I will like to know how you have been handling the issue of forgiveness and how unforgiveness makes you feel.
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